A Brand New Ending

Social media is a funny thing. It's good for staying in touch with your friends and family, and at the same it's like a medium you can use to check on the people you don't or can't have in your life anymore. Like your ex, for example.

I was in a very toxic relationship once. I was with him for 3 years, 3 whole freaking years. I was a completely different person back then. I did not have love and respect for myself. I was emotionally abused, and it lead to physical abuse towards the end of the relationship. I really thought that it was love. I thought if it doesn't hurt or get difficult, then it's not love. The relationship destroyed me. I was ruined for another two years after it ended. I was relieved when it was over, but you can't just recover from that. You need time to heal.

5 years later, I became a new person. In some weird, twisted way, it was a revival. 5 years after I ended the relationship, I was so much more happier. My life was not perfect but I didn't care. I found myself. I had so much love for myself that I couldn't share it with someone else. Until I found this wonderful guy who is now my boyfriend. He is the complete opposite of my abusive ex. I feel safe and at home when I'm with him. He's my best friend and I feel so lucky to have him in my life.

Anyway, I found my ex's on social media and I was shocked when I found out that he got married and had a baby. He was and is still a monster. I was so scared for his wife and child... For their sake, I really hope that he had changed. Knowing that he had moved on, he has a family, I feel this weird feeling that I can't describe. I still talk to our mutual friends so I know what his situation is like. Again, I'm very blessed. I have a man that loves me for who I am, so crazy in love with me and not afraid to show it. I feel the very same about it...... and I am happy to know that I dodged a bullet

Love = Money?

Saya mau curhat sedikit ya.... Kalau saya lagi ngobrol sama orang, biasanya mereka nanya saya udah punya pacar atau belum, pacarnya orang mana, terus ujung-ujungnya nanya "kamu sering dikasih duit gak sama pacar kamu?". Langsung deh saya mikir, "emang saya keliatan matre ya?". Saya heran kenapa orang bisa nanya kaya gitu. Sampai akhirnya saya sering ngecek Path yang saya sering bilang ini social media tempat orang-orang pamer =P saya punya Path udah lama, tapi jarang banget ngepost. Karena saya pikir gak ada yang peduli juga saya makan apa, pergi kemana atau lagi dengerin lagu apa. Tapi kalau lagi bosen saya sering kepoin teman-teman saya di situ hehe.

Dari Path dan snapchat, saya sering liat orang-orang disana yang punya suami atau pacar sering banget ya di kasih hadiah super mahal. Itu biasa sih, kalian pasti sering liat itu di instagram. Tapi yang paling bikin saya kaget, pacar mereka ngasih mereka uang. Dan uangnya pun gak sedikit, tapi 10 sampai 20 juta. Dari mana saya tau? Karena mereka juga ngeposting jumlahnya. Hmmm emang ini ya gaya orang pacaran jaman sekarang? Mungkin gak semua orang sih kaya gitu dan saya tahu orang-orang itu emang doyan banget pamer. Setiap belanja puluhan juta pasti di post, iya, struknya juga ikut difoto. Haha. Sebenernya saya gak ngerti sih kenapa, apalagi saya kalau beli baju atau beli yang lain pasti nyari yang diskon. Diskon bukan berarti murahan loh. Kalau ke mall, liat-liat deh pasti ada aja merk baju bermerk yang lagi sale. Asal kuat aja ya kakinya =P

Saya enggak pernah kepikiran minta uang sama pacar saya. Kalau dia mau kasih kado yang mahal pasti saya larang haha. Bukannya minta uang atau hadiah, saya nyuruh dia nabung. I'm not frugal but I am quite a spender. Tapi dia lebih boros. Kalau belanja bulanan pasti dia ngoceh kenapa barang-barang disini mahal banget. Padahal trolley nya gak penuh tapi bisa abis 400 sampai 500. Ya mahal lah, orang belanjanya barang-barang import dan belanjanya di supermarket besar lagi. Saya bilang kalau mau murah ke pasar aja. 40ribu bisa dapet lebih dari 2 potong dada ayam. Haha. Tapi dia bilang gak percaya sama orang-orang yang jual di pasar tradisional. Makanya nanti kalau udah tinggal disini, saya mau ajarin kalau belanja ke pasar modern aja. Lebih murah daripada supermarket.

Agak lucu sih sebenernya karena sebelum sama pacar saya ini, saya agak boros tapi sekarang malah saya yang sering ingetin dia biar lebih hemat.